How to Cook a Husband
As Mr Glass said of the hare, you must first catch him. Having done so,
the mode of cooking him, so as to make a good dish of him, is as follows.
Many good husbands are spoiled in the cooking; some women go about
it as if their husbands were bladders, and blow them up. Others keep them
constantly in hot water, while others freeze them by conjugal coldness.
Some smother them with hatred, contention and variance, and some keep
them in pickle all their lives. These women always serve them up with tongue
sauce. Now it cannot be supposed that husbands will be tender and good if
managed in that way. But they are, on the contrary, very delicious when
managed as follows: Get a large jar called the jar of carefulness, (which all
good wives have on hand), place your husband in it, and set him near the
fire of conjugal love; let the fire be pretty hot, but especially let it be clear – above
all, let the heat be constant. Cover him over with affection, kindness and
subjection. Garnish with modest, becoming familiarity, and the spice of
pleasantry; and if you had kisses and other confectionaries let them be
accompanied with a sufficient portion of secrecy, mixed with prudence and
moderation. We would advise all good wives to try this receipt and realise
how admirable a dish a husband is when properly cooked.
If you’ve read any of my books you know how much I enjoy creating heroines who cook & bake. Or who are chocolatiers like Esmée Shaw in A Heart Adrift! While researching her story, I came across this antiquity of a recipe which is timeless & true & worth sharing. In the meantime I’m creating some delicious posts to pair with the novel’s January release. Cannot wait!